It’s been a year but it hurts like it was yesterday. I miss you my friend, my lover, my best mistake.
She had to tell him, while she still had time, how wrong he’d been and how right she’d been. How wrong not to love her more, how wrong not to cherish her and have sex at every opportunity, (…) how wrong to have been gloomy, how wrong to have run away from life, how wrong to have said no, again and again, instead of yes: she had to tell him all of this, every single day
It was you who stumbled into my room, who made the decision to stay the night as your eyes grew heavy lidded. Your hands found mine and your lips pressed back when I kissed you. Four months later you walked out and slammed the door in my face. You called the shots before I could open my mouth. It’s not fair that you refused to talk and instead crossed an ocean to a land where you could forget me. I couldn’t forget. I was stuck in your shadow and I took the blame for both of us. You didn’t ride out the storm, you were on dry land before it even hit. When you returned, the seas were calm and you settled back into your old life. By that time, I was long gone. I gave you my heart but you stole my pride. You turned around and never looked back. I stood behind you, salty tears streaming down my cheeks.
Image: Lot’s Wife, Anslem Kiefer, 1989.
Looking into your eyes is drowning
in nostalgia -
the smell of wet leaves,
the safety of a bed too small for us both.
The month of May -
sweet heat and raindrops
in our unwashed hair.
I wrapped around you like a vine,
binding us together, thought it was symbiotic ‘til I was lying in the grass, alone.
I dreamed that I seeped into
the earth and my body became a sapling. I learned to be alone
in the cool green shade without
your roots against mine,
my fragile branches growing strong.
But you were no dream.
When the wind catches my voice,
I am still calling your name.
I have stood in this grove for so long
that I know nothing else.
You linger on my lips
like morning dew.
Reblogged from the effortlessly fabulous natalienorriswardlaw. My walls are so lucky to be blessed with your art.